The Islanders? Really?

• Remember the golf joke about the guy who decides which hand to golf with depending upon whether his wife is sleeping on her left or right side when he wakes up in the morning? Do you think there’s just as arbitrary a method that the Sabres use when deciding whether or not to suck? Like, when Pominville’s alarm goes off in the morning, he checks his dog. If his dog is lying on one side or another, they put in the effort; if the dog is on his back paws up, they play dead.

• The Sabres are second in the NHL for number of rookies called up, a few behind the Flyers. As much as I hate the streak of injuries, I still hate being behind the Flyers in any way. This has meant job security for the guy who stitches names on the back of jerseys (I assume it’s a guy – not a lot of women working in the locker room). And it makes Roy, Vanek and Pominville seem like alumni.

• We now have a guy playing for us named Szczechura. His parents mercifully gave him the first name “Paul” to make up for what comes next. Nothing against his playing ability, but I think he got called up because Jersey Stitcher was running out of the other letters. “We have plenty of Zs left…” (Szczechura is pronounced “sha-HUR-ah.” No matter how loudly you say it, it sounds like you’re whispering. Picture Brick saying it.)

• Text to the Sabres: I know the next couple of games don’t matter as much as division games, but we had to pay for the tickets to the Wed Wings game nonetheless. It’s considered a “Gold” game. Please don’t treat it like a “Value” game.

• Here’s what I’ve done so far to change our luck at home: worn different jerseys; eaten different pre-game meals; not eaten a pre-game meal (which does not go well with beer); worn/not worn Sabres earrings; sat in the even-numbered seat; sat in the odd-numbered seat; skipped my pre-game nap (which also does not go well with beer); carried a Jochen Hecht sign (it worked in Germany); not worn a jersey. What seems to work is a pre-game nap, followed by a pre-game hot dog, not wearing a jersey and wearing Sabres earrings, while sitting in the even-numbered seat. This is what I’ll be doing on Friday. Here’s hoping the Sabres work as hard as I do.

• Speaking of pre-game meals, I have a friend who was pretty disgusted with what the Sabres were selling as a chicken finger meal. First of all, the “fingers” were really “nuggets.” Second of all, they were dry and kinda horrible. Thinking it was an abberation, she tried them a second time on another night. Just as disappointing. She complained to Delaware North, and received a reply e-mail. As of Friday, they will be serving real chicken fingers, as the name “chicken finger” implies. In addition, they are refunding all of the money she paid for horrible meals. Love the customer service. Also, if you have any questions about food, talk to Beverly at the pizza stand in the 100-level food court. Damn, she knew everything, including why I didn’t like the pizza they served last year.

Here’s hoping for better times with better efforts. I may complain, but I’m not off the bandwagon — I’m just less-than-impressed for the present time. There’s a tattoo that means I will never be off the bandwagon again. I still always and forever believe that we’re gonna win that cup. Y’know.